HOME

I made it. My time in Dallas is over (for now) and I am back home with my family.  The 20 hours on the road was tiring, but it gave me time to think back over all that happened this summer.  Taking this step to go so far away for an extended period of time was difficult, no doubt about it.  Honestly, there were times that were really hard.  However, the good that has come from this experience far outweighs it all.  The amount I have grown this summer in my relationship with Christ is substantial.  All that I learned about ministry is extremely valuable.  The personal growth I experienced is huge.  I would definitely choose to do it all over again.  It was hard to say goodbye, first to new friends I had made, then to the worship staff, and then to my cousins.  Each one got harder and harder.  Focusing on going home though really helped me to get through all the tears of the goodbyes.  I am so relieved to be back and to continue what I learned in Dallas now here at home.
The summer is coming to a close, and my Senior year of school is about to begin.  All that I have learned during this short experience will be carried over as I continue to grow.  One small paragraph of my life has been written, now, on to the next! I can't wait to see the continuation of this story :)

Almost There

I can't believe my time in Dallas is nearing to the end.  Only two more full days until my dad gets here, and then we are taking off for Michigan on Thursday!  One final request I had was to go to Pokey O's.

It's an ice cream cookie sandwich place and it's SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!
This is a pic of me getting it all over my face, and the floor.  I had tuxedo cookies (milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate chips) and southern blackberry cobbler ice cream.  YUMMM!

In other news, my family officially has two dogs now.  I get to see them on Friday! Apparently they act like brother and sister, the little one picks on the big one even though she knows she will get trampled.  She will learn eventually.
I have been reading the book "The Help", I wanted to read it before seeing the movie.  If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it.  I think it will make the movie much more enjoyable (not that it wouldn't have been before).  It's hard for me to think how recent all the racism and issues discussed in the book really are.  Definitely makes me consider things differently.

Well, at the beginning of this final week, I ask for your prayers to calm my anxious heart, that I may be able to treasure the rest of my time here with my family and new friends.  It will be so nice to get back home though and into community once again.  I can't describe how hard it's been not being around people to really know me and who I can talk to consistently  face to face.  I appreciate all the prayers throughout this journey, and can't wait to share all about it when I return!

Didn't See That Coming!

There have been several new developments since my last post.  The most recent one involves my car.  I didn't know it was possible, but my rear view mirror melted off my windshield.  Yes, you read that correctly.  The adhesive holding it in place melted.  I came out of the church and found the mirror dangling when I opened my door.  Luckily, it's a cheap $6 fix!  Now I only have to figure out how to fix it.

The past week has has given me whiplash.  In my previous post, I told you about my family's new puppy! Well, since then, it was decided that "Meeko" was not a good fit for our family.  We ended up getting a new puppy, a shi-poo, just like Bruno was.  She is adorable and has just received the name "Maylee".  But now, since the newest puppy has been home, it looks like we may be keeping "Meeko".  There are a few details that need to fall into place first, but it appears we may have 2 dogs.  They get along really well (so I'm told), and I can't wait to meet them!

Several other surprises have happened this week involving the health of people I work with.  One woman found out she most likely has kidney cancer.  One of our worship leaders was in the hospital with meningitis.  Another man at the church found out yesterday his father had a stroke and may not live much longer.  Through all of this, God has been teaching me a lot about peace.  I am not in control of tomorrow. Whatever happens to me has been previously known to my Father in heaven.  Therefore, I do not need to worry about anything.  Philippians 4 has been a great encouragement to me and an excellent reminder that no matter what comes, my God is still in control and I can rest in the peace and assurance this brings.   

A New Addition

This week has been one lazy week for me.  I went to work, came back and watched TV.  I rented three movies yesterday (thank goodness for redbox). Hopefully I will get out and do something later on today.

It's been one week since my family had to put Bruno down.  It's still hard thinking of him not being around anymore.  However, we have already found a new puppy!  We were not planning on getting a new dog so fast, but we found "Meeko" and couldn't pass up the opportunity to bring him home.  He is a four month old labradoodle, a rescue puppy.  We got him really cheap because he is not a typical labradoodle.  Instead of having the coloring of a lab with the coat of a poodle (curly and nonshedding), he has the coloring of a poodle with the coat of the lab (still nonshedding).  He is currently about 25 pounds, and is a bit larger now than this picture shows.  I can't wait to meet him when I get home!

A Bumpy Weekend

This past weekend definitely had its ups and downs.  It started off great!  I went to this really awesome shopping center on Friday to hang out with a couple of friends.  I was so thankful to have found people down here in Dallas to do things with.  After I got back, the "down" came.  My parents called and told me they had put our family dog down.  This was something I had expected for a long time, since Easter actually, but it is still hard.  Thinking about putting him in the ground and removing all his stuff from the house makes me cry almost every time.  I think it's going to be difficult when I get back home and he isn't there.  He was a part of our family for 17 years, the only pet I have ever known.  God was so gracious in letting our family have him for so long.

The next day, I was able to skype with all of my family back in Michigan.  My grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins were all there.  It was great to see them all, but it made me miss home that much more.  Then, for another "up", I got paid for the babysitting I had been doing all week!  I was really excited because I would have cash to pay for the tea house I would be going to later in the afternoon with several girls from the college group I have been attending. I stopped at the bank on my way to the party to cash the check I was given.  I had cashed a check there before, so I didn't think anything about doing it again.  After I handed the check to the teller and got my license out, I was informed there would be a $6 fee to cash the check because of the amount (which wasn't huge) and the fact I do not have an account there.  This put me over the top.  I wiped the tears off my face as I drove to my destination, just thinking about everything that had happened in the previous 18 hours.  My emotional side was definitely out in the open.

Luckily, the weekend ended on a good note.  I got to experience all the technical and behind-the-scenes work during all three services at the church on Sunday which was really fun.  After the final service, a couple girls came over and we had pizza while we just talked for a few hours, something I really needed.

So, despite getting little sleep and being on an emotional rollercoaster, God has helped me get through.  The Lord reminds me He is here with me over and over again.  And for that, I am so grateful.  

Into the Deep

What to say about this week. Well, to begin, I got to experience the wonderful world of east Texas.  I did not know that there is a completely different world two hours away from Dallas.  The picture above is of me standing in the tiny town of Teaselville.  This coffee shop is the only thing there.  Don't let the coffee logo fool you, they also serve hot dogs and double as a pizza shop.  Yup, it's quite the place.
While visiting, I found out a couple other things.  The phrase "make a picture" does not mean you draw something.  If you are making a picture of someone, you are taking their picture with a camera.  I felt like I could not speak without being embarrassed because the accents are so much stronger than they are in the city.  While driving through the neighborhoods, several Confederate flags were waving in front yards.  Let's just say it was an interesting experience.

I led the music again today for the church with the small congregation.  Today was their last Sunday meeting together for a service.  There were several tears as testimonies were given and as goodbyes were said.  They invited me to stay for the luncheon afterwards and I got multiple compliments once again about how thankful they were to have me there.  I am so glad I was able to help out and put smiles on their faces during their difficult transition.  I wanted so badly to explain that the church is not ending.  The building doors may no longer be accessible, but the church is the people.  As they join other congregations the "church" will continue to grow, and once the old building is re-purposed more people will hear the Gospel and give their lives to Christ.  How exciting! I did get to tell this to one lady who didn't seem extremely happy.  I don't know if she understood  what I was saying, but hopefully it made a little difference.

This week was a really interesting one for me.  I started getting lonely, and Satan used this as a chance to attack.  After a struggle with multiple people praying for me and searching out the Lord, God revealed himself to me in a new and glorious way.  I felt a true freedom from the battle I was fighting against Satan, and have been filled with renewed joy and thankfulness ever since.  Talking to my dad, he said maybe this was a time where I had the chance to experience what other people are up against when they are tempted through their own addictions, doubts, and life away from Christ.  Looking at it that way, I am glad I will be able to relate to some people I may not have otherwise, although I only experienced my struggle for a short time.  However, I wouldn't mind if I never had to go through it again! But, if and when I do (which honestly is very likely since we are still in this sinful world), I know God is faithful and will not leave or forsake me.  I can fully trust in His goodness and strength, for when I am weak, He is strong!

You want me to do what???

I had the opportunity to lead at the small church again today! They had requested all hymns and so that's what we sang.  And we sang them directly out of the hymnal.  I hadn't done that in a very long time.  The people in the congregation really appreciated it though.  Again, it was another humbling experience.  Playing piano while trying to lead is something I am still working on and am not great at yet, but I am learning.  I am glad the people were able to still worship despite the quality.  I also realized my voice is not the same since I have not been using it nearly as much here.  It was difficult for me to get passed the idea in my head of "This is not what it should be" to "You don't need to be perfect, and in fact, you never will be!"  I have been struggling a bit lately deciding why I love to sing.  Is it for the glory of God or am I doing it for myself?  This has proven to me once again that our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses.  I absolutely LOVE praising and worshiping the Lord through song.  It's when I get to lead others into God's presence so that we may all worship Him together that I feel closest to God.  Unfortunately, I can often get caught up in "LOOK AT ME" mentality, even unconsciously.  I don't want to.  I despise this attitude and quality about myself.  Why would God want a selfish girl like me to minister to others?  That's why God keeps putting things in my life to remind me IT'S NOT ABOUT EMILY! God is GOD.  He is still GOOD.  He is still LORD.  I am still LOVED by Him.  Yes, I have defects.  Yes, I will be working on bettering myself in this area.  Through it all, I still believe God has called me to lead His people in communal worship, as one body, for His glory.  So that's what I am going to do.  Oh dear, this is going to be harder than I thought! But I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.  Praise the Lord for that!